[20180421] 友誼的黑暗面

Friendship’s Dark Side: ‘We Need a Common Enemy’

By Natalie Angier @NYT

建立和維持友誼是人類社會的重要元素,一般被認爲是一件能給人帶來快樂、應該努力追求的事情,但一些研究提醒了大家友誼還是可能給個人或社會帶來傷害。

(NYT 中文版網址)

Yet researchers who explore the deep nature of friendship admit the bond can have its thorns, bruise spots and pesticide traces.

建立友誼一般需要”共同的敵人”, 至少也需要有某種程度的排他性:

Game theory models predict it, real-life examples confirm it. “In order to band together, we need a common enemy,” Dr. Christakis said.

Nevertheless, even the ordinary business of making friends is an exclusionary act, a judgment call, and therefore threaded with the potential for pain.

我們對誰是自己的朋友這跟問題有極差的判斷力:

Other studies have shown similar discordances or worse, with one survey revealing that 66 percent of supposed friendships were cases of unrequited like.

朋友直接的衝突也非常頻繁:

Based on a detailed survey of 540 participants, researchers at Oxford University determined that people had a falling out with a member of their social circle about once every 7.2 months, or nearly two times annually, and that a year later 40 percent of those ruptures remained unhealed.

衍生閱讀:

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